What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like
by LDEJRuff
Summary: This is sort of a "what if" anthology that takes place during the scene of the unthinkable event in "Life of Brian". Ever wondered what would happen if Brian hadn't been fatally injured? Well, in this series of events, we're about to find out.
1. If There Was No Car Coming

_What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like..._

If There Was No Car Coming

by LDEJRuff

* * *

><p>Brian and Stewie were both ready for their street hockey game. Brian was carrying the net while Stewie carried the hockey sticks. The two made their way to the street.<p>

"Okay, Brian," Stewie began, "I'm just putting this out there, but I'm a baby, and only dicks don't let babies win."

Finally, the two were on the road.

"God," Brian said, "look at this day, huh? You know, usually, I'd be sitting inside writing, you'd be working on one of your machines, but here we are enjoying it."

"Yes, it _is_ a nice change of pace," Stewie agreed. Then, he realized, "Oh, wait. I got to go grab my knee pads. I was using them for...for...for this other thing. Anyway, I'll be right back."

Stewie went inside the house while Brian put the net together.

"Ah," Brian sighed, finishing putting the net together. "Perfect."

Brian then realized that he forgot something, and he went to the garage to go get it, leaving the net behind. He opened the garage door, looked at his Prius with a smile and picked up the hockey puck next to it.

Stewie wondered what Brian was doing. "Brian?" he asked. "What are you doing in the garage?" he continued, putting emphasis on "ga" in "garage", like he was saying "gay".

"Oh," Brian began. "I was just, uh, looking at how pretty awesome my Prius is while getting the puck."

"Oh, pretty awesome," Stewie repeated. "Why don't you marry it, huh?"

"Yeah," Brian chuckled, "that's _real_ funny. All right," he continued, sounding a bit serious. "Game on."

He ran to the road with puck in hand, with Stewie following.

"Hey," Stewie began, "I was about to say that."

And the two of them played their game with no problems at all.

* * *

><p>This could be the <em>end<em> of the story, but what would happen if there were other versions of it? Ever wondered?


	2. If Brian and Stewie Played It Safe

_What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like..._

If Brian and Stewie Played It Safe

by LDEJRuff

* * *

><p>This is one of the versions of how the day should have been. Like before, Brian and Stewie were both ready for their street hockey game. Brian was carrying the net while Stewie carried the hockey sticks. The two made their way to the street.<p>

"Okay, Brian," Stewie began, "I'm just putting this out there, but I'm a baby, and only..."

"Wait," Brian said, stopping Stewie short and themselves in their tracks. They had almost stepped off the sidewalk.

Brian had just heard the screeching of tires, and a car was coming. It passed by the Griffin house, leaving Stewie in shock.

"Whoa," Stewie said. "Another step, and either one of us would have been road pizza. Thanks for warning me, Brian. If you hadn't, I would have _regretted_ destroying my time machine."

"Well," Brian began, "you're welcome. I think we would enjoy this day if we played in the backyard instead."

"I agree," Stewie replied. "It _is_ rather nice if we both played it safe."

The two friends turned around and made their way back to the house.

"Hey, Lois," Brian called, "we're going to play in the backyard instead."

And with that, they were both back inside the living room door.

* * *

><p>If you think that was okay, wait until we read the next one. It's hilarious...<p> 


	3. If Brian Then Lost His Dignity

_What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like..._

If Brian Then Lost His Dignity

by LDEJRuff

* * *

><p>Again, Brian and Stewie were both ready for their street hockey game. Brian was carrying the net while Stewie carried the hockey sticks. The two made their way to the street.<p>

"Okay, Brian," Stewie began, "I'm just putting this out there, but I'm a baby, and only dicks don't let babies win."

Finally, the two were on the road.

"God," Brian said, "look at this day, huh? You know, usually, I'd be sitting inside writing, you'd be working on one of your machines, but here we are enjoying it."

"Yes, it _is_ a nice change of pace," Stewie agreed. Then, he realized, "Oh, wait. I got to go grab my knee pads. I was using them for...for...for this other thing. Anyway, I'll be right back."

Stewie went inside the house while Brian put the net together.

"Ah," Brian sighed, finishing putting the net together. "Perfect."

Just then, he heard the screeching of tires, as a car was coming in his direction. Brian ran back into the sidewalk, and just in time. However, he left the net on the road. Before he could get to it, the car passed by, ruining it.

"That's a good way to _kill_ someone, you know," Brian called to the driver.

Stewie got out of the house after hearing Brian, but started snickering. Brian started scratching his helmet-covered head.

"What?" Brian asked.

Finally, Stewie's snickering burst into laughter.

"What's wrong, Stewie?" Brian asked, still scratching his head.

Upon hearing Stewie's laughter, the rest of the Griffin family went outside, and they, too, started snickering. Finally, their snickering, too, burst into laughter.

"You, too?" Brian asked, now shrugging. "What's so funny?"

"You, Brian!" Stewie said, still laughing.

"Me?" Brian repeated. "What's so funny about..."

Brian stopped short, gasping in shock. We see that the speeding car ripped off the lower half of his fur, and we see him wearing a pair of boxers underneath. He covered himself in embarrassment.

"Oh, come on!" Brian exclaimed, embarrassed.

"Oh, my God," Stewie said, still laughing. "I've got to forward this to the other dogs in the neighborhood!" And, pulling out his cellular phone, he posted a picture of Brian's embarrassment on his social network account.

* * *

><p>Okay, all joking aside. What's next is serious...<p> 


	4. If It Affected Brian's Walking

_What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like..._

If It Affected Brian's Walking

by LDEJRuff

* * *

><p>Brian and Stewie were both ready for their street hockey game. Brian was carrying the net while Stewie carried the hockey sticks. The two made their way to the street.<p>

"Okay, Brian," Stewie began, "I'm just putting this out there, but I'm a baby, and only dicks don't let babies win."

Finally, the two were on the road.

"God," Brian said, "look at this day, huh? You know, usually, I'd be sitting inside writing, you'd be working on one of your machines, but here we are enjoying it."

"Yes, it _is_ a nice change of pace," Stewie agreed. Then, he realized, "Oh, wait. I got to go grab my knee pads. I was using them for...for...for this other thing. Anyway, I'll be right back."

Stewie made his way inside the house while Brian put the net together. However, before he could go any further, Stewie heard the sound of screeching tires. A car was coming, and Brian was in the way. This shocked Stewie.

"Brian," Stewie called, "look out!"

This got Brian's attention. As soon as Brian turned his head in confusion, the car hit him, sending Brian flying if not running him over. After a few seconds, Brian landed on the road, with his legs mangled up.

"Aah, dammit!" Brian shouted in pain.

"Gaaaaah, Brian!" Stewie said, horrified.

As Stewie was rushing to Brian, the rest of the Griffin family got outside, alarmed.

"Oh, my God!" Lois cried, horrified.

Brian sadly looked at his legs, and his attention turned to the rest of the family when they came to him.

"Brian, are you okay?" Lois asked.

"No," Brian answered, "no, I think you should call the vet!"

"Holy crap," said Peter. "What the hell happened?"

A squirrel came in, kicked one of Brian's legs and spit on it. "Sucks being _you_, doesn't it?" the squirrel gloated at Brian before running off.

* * *

><p>At the vet, the Griffins waited patiently for news of Brian's fate. Finally, the doctor came out of the operating room.<p>

"Doctor, how is Brian?" Lois asked him. "Is he gonna be okay?"

The doctor looked at her sadly, and he answered, "Brian...will live. He may never be able to walk again."

This bit of news brought shock and sadness on the family's faces, even Stewie's. They got inside the operating room, where Brian was sitting on his bed, sad that he may never walk again. He saw his family come in as soon as they did.

"Hey, guys" Brian said. "I take it you heard the news. I can't blame you."

"Dammit, Brian," Stewie said, with tears in his eyes. "We were gonna do so many things together. We were gonna become windsurfers. I was gonna be a little better than you, but we were _both_ gonna be good."

"Don't worry, Stewie," Brian assured. "We'll do the same stuff we normally do, only we're going to do it a little different now."

"Are you sure?" Stewie asked, drying his eyes.

Brian replied, "Yes, Stewie. I may never be able to walk again, but there may be other things I'd like to do. But nonetheless, you and your family have given me a wonderful life. I love you all, and always will, come what may."

The Griffins, upon hearing these words, began to smile, and hugged Brian one by one.

* * *

><p>One week later, the Griffins brought Brian back home, only, he was confined to a wheelchair.<p>

"You know, Brian," Stewie said to his canine friend, "it _is_ going to be a little different now, but you'll get over it."

"Hey," Brian began, "it could have been worse. I mean other families would have just gotten another dog and moved on. But you got lucky that I survived."

"But," Stewie started, "what if we had gotten another dog if you were still around?"

"I would still accept that dog as a member of the family," Brian replied.

With that, Brian gave Stewie a hug.

* * *

><p>Wasn't that heartwarming? The next one's a bit more serious...<p> 


	5. If Brian Then Became a Robot (part 1)

_What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like..._

If Brian Then Became a Robot (part 1)

by LDEJRuff

* * *

><p>Like before, Brian and Stewie were both ready for their street hockey game. Brian was carrying the net while Stewie carried the hockey sticks. The two made their way to the street.<p>

"Okay, Brian," Stewie began, "I'm just putting this out there, but I'm a baby, and only dicks don't let babies win."

Finally, the two were on the road.

"God," Brian said, "look at this day, huh? You know, usually, I'd be sitting inside writing, you'd be working on one of your machines, but here we are enjoying it."

"Yes, it _is_ a nice change of pace," Stewie agreed. Then, he realized, "Oh, wait. I got to go grab my knee pads. I was using them for...for...for this other thing. Anyway, I'll be right back."

Stewie made his way inside the house while Brian put the net together. However, before he could go any further, Stewie heard the sound of screeching tires. A car was coming, and Brian was in the way. This shocked Stewie.

"Brian," Stewie called, "look out!"

This got Brian's attention. As soon as Brian turned his head in confusion, the car hit him, running him over. Stewie watched in horror.

"Gaaah, Brian!" he cried before rushing to Brian. Luckily, the rest of the family wasn't home, since they left Brian to babysit. Anyway, getting back to the subject, Stewie rushed over to Brian. "Oh, my God," he said. "Brian! Brian, no!"

* * *

><p>Stewie brought Brian up to his room, with no minutes to lose. He had placed Brian on one of two pads, while the other had something covered with a blanket. Stewie was desperately using his computer, which had the words "Mind Upload" displayed on the screen.<p>

"Hang in there, Brian," Stewie said, voice shaking. "I don't want to lose you."

Brian was struggling to wake up, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Stewie working on his computer.

"S...Stewie?" Brian said, weakly.

Upon hearing this, Stewie looked at Brian, hoping he wasn't too late to save him. Brian smiled at him before passing out. Alarmed, Stewie was about to press a button on the keyboard.

"No, Brian," he cried, "I love you!"

With that, Stewie pressed the button. Electricity filled the pad Brian was on before it flowed to the other pad. A few seconds later, the pad stopped producing voltage.

"Mind upload successful," the computer said. "Conversion to data complete. Congratulations, Stewie. You have saved your friend's life."

Stewie rushed over to the blanketed pad and began to uncover it.

In a perspective, the first thing something saw was a green-tinted Stewie saying, "Brian? Brian, can you hear me?"

That something was...Brian? And he looked as if there was no wounds or signs of injury on his body, and he had no collar on.

"Stewie?" Brian asked. "What's going on here? One second, I'm in pain, the next, I'm not, and I can't feel anything. Why's that?"

"Open your chest plate," Stewie requested.

"Chest plate?" Brian repeated. "What are you talking about?"

He does so, and discovered that he has the insides of a machine inside him.

"Huh," Brian said, as if he wasn't shocked. "I'm a robot. But I don't feel surprised."

"That's because I haven't put in the emotion chip in you yet," Stewie replied. He reached into his left overall pocket and got out a Micro SD card. He placed the card inside a compartment in Brian labeled "Emotion". With that, Brian's expression changed to shock, and he screamed in horror at his discovery of what he then was.

"What happened to me?!" Brian exclaimed. "Why am I a robot?!"

Stewie began to answer. "I...I just saved your life."

"What?" Brian replied. "How?"

"That car, Brian," Stewie answered. "It ran over you. And if I hadn't saved you, you would've died. So I uploaded your mind into this robot body I fashioned to look exactly like your old body," he said, pointing to Brian's now-empty old body, which looked like he had died.

Both dog and baby looked at the body. And of the two, Brian stood wide-eyed. Afterwards, he smiled at Stewie.

"Wow, Stewie," he said. "Thank you for saving my life. You know, many other families would have gotten a different dog and moved on."

"Oh," Stewie replied, "we would _never_ do that, Brian."

"So," Brian began, "What are we going to do with my _old_ body?"

"Do you want to keep the collar?" Stewie asked.

Brian replied, "Yeah."

"Then," Stewie began, "I know what to do with the rest."

* * *

><p>We see Stewie struggling to take a full garbage bag outside, trailing blood, to the street.<p>

* * *

><p>Back in Stewie's bedroom, we see both the baby and the now-robot dog, wearing his collar again, having a discussion.<p>

"Okay," Stewie began, "Now that you're a robot dog, let me give you some information about your newly changed life. First, you only have two senses: Seeing and hearing. That means no smelling, no tasting, and no touching."

"No touching?" Brian repeated. "That could be the reason I didn't feel anything when I woke up. And if I can't taste anything, then that means I can't have breakfast, lunch, or dinner with you guys. And no dry martinis for me, either."

"That's right, Brian," Stewie said. "Second, you cannot tell anybody about your being a robot."

"I dunno, Stewie," Brian replied. "I mean the family is bound to find out eventually. Oh, what about my battery? Does it need charging?"

"That's the third thing, Brian," said Stewie. "You're going to need these battery chargers that are in the form of dog biscuits momentarily. And finally, you can go to sleep when I give the command 'sleep mode' and awaken when I give the command 'wake mode'. Those are the rules."

"Sleep mode and wake mode?" Brian repeated. "At least that will give you some extra time. And maybe some time for me to catch some Zs."

Just then, the two heard the station wagon pulling into the driveway, which meant one thing: the rest of the family had come home.

"We're home," Lois called from the living room.

"Oh, hey, Lois," Brian called back. "We'll be down in a minute." Then he turned to Stewie. "Any chance you can make me flesh and blood again?" he asked him.

"Well, there are a couple of options," Stewie answered. "One of them is that I can go to the farmers market to buy a titanium capacitor so I can rebuild my time machine. The other, if the first doesn't go as planned, is that I can develop a program that can materialize virtual data."

"How long is that going to take?" Brian asked.

"Years, I'm afraid," Stewie replied. "Oh, that reminds me, I forgot to mention that you can't age when you're a robot, either."

"I can't age?" Brian repeated. "Does that mean, since I'm a robot, I can't rust, either?"

"Not entirely, Brian," Stewie answered. "You may have to take oil baths in my lab once in a while, if not every day."

"And if I get wet, would I short-circuit?" Brian then asked.

"Don't worry, Brian," Stewie assured. "I built your body with a water-resistant rubber coating. No matter if it rains or the sun is shining, you wouldn't short-circuit."

"Okay, thanks," Brian responded.

"Now, I've got to go see Yousef for a titanium capacitor, Brian," Stewie said before packing up. "If anything comes up, I'll call you."

Stewie then activated Robo-Stewie at the push of his remote button in front of Brian, then went on his way to the farmers market.

* * *

><p>Stewie had reached his destination: Kabobs.<p>

"Stewie," Yousef, the owner, greeted. "How are you?"

"Not well, Yousef," Stewie answered. "I need your help. I have to track down a titanium capacitor for a high-wattage mainframe I'm going to construct."

"Titanium capacitors?" Yousef repeated. "I'm sorry, but there's no way to get those anymore."

"What do you mean?" Stewie replied. "You've gotten them for me before."

"I know," Yousef answered, "but the one guy who made those drew a doodle of Mohammed, so he's not around anymore. He wasn't even doing it on purpose, just absent-mindedly while talking on the phone. But it was Mohammed, so, you know."

"Oh, that's awful," Stewie said, shocked. "Okay, Yousef. Thanks anyway."

And with that, Stewie walked off and dialed his phone.

"Brian, it's me," he said.

"How was it?" Brian asked over the phone.

"Not good, Brian," Stewie answered. "Without those capacitors, it will be completely impossible to build a functioning time machine."

"So," Brian began over the phone, "I guess that means Plan X, then."

"I'm afraid so, Brian," Stewie replied. "Time for me to start working on that materialization program on my computer. I don't know how many years it will take to finish the program, but I guess it will be about fifteen years, give or take."

"Well," Brian began over the phone, "you did give it your best shot, though."

"Thanks, Brian," Stewie said with a smile before hanging up. And with that, he headed back home.

* * *

><p>Don't go away. Part two's coming up...<p> 


	6. If Brian Then Became a Robot (part 2)

_What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like..._

If Brian Then Became a Robot (part 2)

by LDEJRuff

* * *

><p>One month later, in the Griffin house, it was lunch time. Lois was about to serve Brian some lunch when she realized that Brian can only eat dog biscuits now, or so she thought.<p>

"Oh, wouldn't you believe it, Brian?" She said. "I almost served you again. Silly me. It's been a month since you started going on that dog biscuit diet."

"Yeah, Brian," Peter added. "Don't you like Lois' cooking anymore?"

"The food Lois cooks is okay," Brian began, "but I like these dog biscuits better. Whenever I take a bite of them, I feel like I'm fully..."

He stopped short when seeing Stewie give some hand signals. He had just almost given himself away.

"Fully...what?" Lois repeated.

"Fully," Brian began, "fully...fully revitalized. They're a more healthy kind of dog biscuit."

"Really, what are they made of?" Peter asked.

"Uh," Brian started, "vitamin-enriched meat and vegetables."

Stewie felt relieved.

* * *

><p>Later that day, in Stewie's bedroom, the two friends were having another conversation.<p>

"Stewie," Brian began, "Thanks for the cover-up. I had almost given myself away back there."

"Yeah," Stewie replied. "but 'vitamin-enriched meat and vegetables'? Where'd you come up with _that_ bit?"

"It just came to me," Brian answered. "Anyway, I can't believe it's been a month since you saved my life, and built a robot body for me."

"Well, I built it long before you got run over, Brian," Stewie replied. "Anyway, like you said earlier, if it weren't for me, we would've gotten another dog and moved on."

"Hey," Brian responded, "I would've still accepted that dog as a member of the family. I wonder what that dog is doing this time."

**Cutaway: **We are at the Quahog Pet shop. In the shop, we see Vinny, a dog that's about the same size as Brian, but a different breed (who appears to be either a pit bull or a cross between a German Shepard and an Italian Greyhound), inside a cage. He had just gone through the loss of his owner.

"Hey, thanks for taking me in," he addressed in an Italian-American accent. "This is just what I needed to get over Leo."

"You're welcome, Vinny," the pet shop owner replied. "I'm sure one day a family will come in and buy you."

"Thanks," said Vinny.

Back at the Griffin house, Stewie and Brian were still talking.

"Anyway," Brian began, "tonight, I'm going to prepare dinner for you and the rest of the family, since your mother's a hard-working woman."

"But, Brian," Stewie responded, "I promised her we'd pretend to have Play-Doh pasta tonight."

"I'm sure you two will have another play date someday, Stewie," Brian said before walking away.

"My God, Brian," Stewie thought in worry. "What's happening to you? Sometimes, I get the feeling that I don't know you anymore."

* * *

><p>That evening, Peter and Brian had just come back from the Drunken Clam, even though Brian didn't get a taste of a dry martini. The two of them were sitting on the couch while Stewie was playing with his blocks next to the couch.<p>

"Boy, Brian," Peter began. "I am starting to enjoy this new side of you. Are you sure you don't want another beer?"

"No thanks, Peter," Brian answered. "You know, when you said that I was on another level, I thought to myself, you may be right about that."

"Congratulations, Brian," Stewie said, sarcastically. "You've just won over a complete imbecile."

"You know, Stewie," Brian responded, "You can't always talk about your father that way."

"Hey, Brian," Peter said, getting his attention. "You want to see a puppet show?"

"Sure, Peter," Brian answered. And with that, the two walked out of the room for the show.

Stewie watched Brian walk out of the room, again in worry.

"Poor bastard," Stewie thought.

* * *

><p>The following afternoon, Brian was walking next to Glen Quagmire's house, and he greeted Quagmire while the latter was checking his mail.<p>

"Oh," Quagmire said, not surprised. "Hey, Brian. Come here to gloat on me?"

"Actually," Brian began, "I was just going to say hello, and say how nice it is outside."

"Yeah, whatever," Quagmire gloated.

"Have you ever heard the old saying, 'he who lives in a glass house shouldn't throw stones'?" Brian asked.

"Yes, yes, Brian," Quagmire answered. "I've heard the saying a million times."

"Well," Brian began, "How about 'he who lives in a glass house with a machine gun turret on the roof'?" He then turned his attention to the viewers. "That's right, it's a callback to _Cavalcade_," he said, referring to _Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy_. Then he turned to Quagmire again, saying, "He who lives in a glass house with a machine gun turret on the roof can throw all the stones he wants."

"Oh, come on, Brian," Quagmire replied in disbelief, shrugging. "Nobody gives a crap about that version of the saying."

"Oh, no?" Brian responded. "Well, how about _this_?" And with that, he showed Quagmire his left index finger and started trailing a laser pointer, surprising Quagmire.

"What?" Quagmire said. "You mean to tell me you have a prosthetic laser pointer left index finger?"

"No," Brian answered. "I'm a robot."

This brought even more surprise to Quagmire's face.

"You're kidding!" Quagmire said.

"Nope," Brian replied. "But I can't let you know about that."

"Why not?" Quagmire asked.

Putting his sunglasses on, Brian showed his right index finger and answered, "Neuralyze five seasons." And with that, a flash of light from the finger briefly filled Quagmire's then-widened eyes.

"What happened?" Quagmire said, dazed. Then, after shaking his head, he greeted Brian, who had just put away his finger tools and sunglasses, saying, "Oh, hey, Brian," with a smile.

"Hey, Quagmire," Brian responded. "Nice day, isn't it?"

From his room window, Stewie had just watched the whole thing, then realized, "Oh, that's right, I built a neuralyzer on Brian's right index finger, so he wouldn't let anyone know he's a robot." Then, he turned his attention to his teddy bear, Rupert. "Oh, God, Rupert, what have I done?" he said, his voice shaking. "I think I've created a monster."

* * *

><p>Later that day, in the kitchen, Brian was reading the newspaper.<p>

"Hey, Garfield," he began, "what is it you don't like about Mondays?"

A few seconds later, Brian heard crying coming from outside. He put the paper on the table and went outside, finding Stewie crying on the step.

"Stewie?" Brian said. "Are you crying?"

This got Stewie out of his depression.

"Oh, no," Stewie dismissed. "I just realised I paid too much for my Muffler."

"Come on, Stewie," Brian said, not believing the fib. "You're gonna wrinkle your pants. What's wrong?"

"Fine," Stewie answered, sounding serious. "You want to know what's wrong? What's wrong is that everyone in this family likes the new you so damn much, they don't even realize that you're a robot. Well, I liked the _old_ you better when you were just a regular dog. I almost lost you, Brian. You're not supposed to let that happen at my age. You're not supposed to let it happen ever!"

"Look, Stewie," Brian said, understanding the pain. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will be okay."

"No, it won't," Stewie gloated, crossing his arms.

"Yes, it will," Brian replied. "I saved _your_ life when time was going in reverse and accelerating due to the time dilation. You did the same for _me_ when you built me this robot body and I got run over. I mean, heck, there are other times when either you or I could be in danger, and we will still have each other."

"Really, Brian?" Stewie said, looking at his face with a smile and uncrossing his arms.

"Yes," Brian responded. "So, what do you say, Stewie? You wanna give this new me a chance?"

"You know what, Brian?" Stewie began. "I'm starting to think I do."

Brian chuckled. "Bring it in, Stewie," he said, offering a hug.

And with that, Stewie gave Brian a heartwarming hug.

"Hey, Stewie," Brian began, as the hugging stopped, "now that I'm a robot, maybe I can do a good voice impression of you." He cleared his throat and started talking in a perfect Rex Harrison accent. "Hey, where the deuce _is_ everyone?"

"Hey," Stewie said, "that's pretty good."

"You think so?" Brian asked in his normal voice.

"Yeah," Stewie replied, "you're getting better."

* * *

><p>That night, Lois carried a sleeping Stewie on her shoulder, with Brian following, while entering her baby's bedroom.<p>

"Boy," Lois began. "I can't remember the last time Stewie fell asleep this early."

"Well," Brian said, "I think he had a long day, Lois."

"Okay, Brian," Lois offered. "Time for bed. I'll tell Peter to turn off the nightlight this time."

"No, leave it on, Lois," Peter said from across the hall. "I want it just in case of witches."

"You know what, Lois?" Brian said. "I'll sleep in here with Stewie tonight."

"Oh," Lois said, putting Stewie in his crib. "Well isn't that nice. Sleep tight, you two." She then turned off the light.

As soon as Lois walked across the hall to the couple's bedroom, Brian prepared himself to go to sleep next to Stewie, then turned to him and said, "Thanks for everything, Stewie. You're my best friend and I love you."

"I love you, too, Brian," Stewie replied. "Good night."

"Good night, Stewie," Brian responded.

"Sleep mode," Stewie said.

And with that, Brian closed his eyes and powered down, which is robot talk for "went to sleep". Afterwards, a witch came near the bedroom door.

"Hey," the witch began, "you guys know which room is Peter's?"

"Across the hall," Stewie answered.

The witch turned her head and said, "Oh, it's too bright," then turned her head to Stewie and continued, "never mind." With that, she walked off.

* * *

><p>Didn't most of this sound familiar, except for a few diffs? We're almost done, but not quite yet. Part three is coming...<p> 


	7. If Brian Then Became a Robot (part 3)

_What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like..._

If Brian Then Became a Robot (part 3)

by LDEJRuff

* * *

><p>Several months have passed, and it was near Christmas time. The Griffins were all watching <em>Home Alone with Competent Robbers<em> when Lois came into the living room, ready to go to the mall. It was time for the annual Christmas Carnival.

"Come on, everybody," Lois said. "Let's go to the mall. It's time for the Christmas Carnival. It's Stewie's first Christmas."

"Again?" Stewie dismissed.

"I love the Christmas Carnival!" Chris said, excited.

"Chris, calm down," Lois said to her son. "You're giving yourself a nosebleed."

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><p>At the Quahog mall, the Griffins were waiting in line for Stewie to see Santa. However, Brian noticed that Stewie was feeling depressed for some reason.<p>

"What's the matter, Stewie?" Brian asked. "You're up to see Santa and you look depressed."

"I dunno, Brian," answered Stewie. "I thought the Christmas Carnival would make me feel happy, but it feels like something's missing."

"You know what made me feel happy?" Brian replied. "Meeting a girl dog during trick-or-treating on Halloween."

**Cutaway: **We see Brian dressed up as Chewbacca from _Star Wars_ talking to an anthropomorphic girl collie, dressed up as Princess Leia Organa, with the family she's owned by.

"You know, Brian?" the collie began. "It's good that I've met a charming dog such as yourself."

Brian chuckled. "Oh, that's nothing. You probably don't even know the half of it."

"What do you mean?" the collie asked.

"I'd tell ya', but I'd have to erase your memory," Brian joked.

Both the dogs laughed.

"Oh, Brian," the collie giggled, "you're such a kidder."

Back at the mall, it was Stewie's turn to see Santa.

"Oh, Stewie, it's your turn," Brian informed.

"Ho-ho-ho!" the mall Santa said, as Lois put Stewie on his lap. "Mall Santa is brought to you this season by Chipotle. Between good and garbage, it's Chipotle. So, what do you want for Christmas?"

"Oh, what _do_ I want for Christmas?" Stewie repeated. "What do I want for Christmas?"

He looked at his family for a moment, panning from his dad, his mom, Chris, Meg, and finally Brian, who was wishing him luck. Afterwards, he started to develop tears in his eyes, feeling more depressed than he was getting in line.

"You know what I want for Christmas?" Stewie said to the mall Santa. "My dog, Brian, back to the way he was several months ago."

This surprised both Brian and the mall Santa.

"Your dog, Brian?" the mall Santa repeated.

"Yes," Stewie answered. "I don't care about this stupid carnival or Christmas. I don't care about anything except for Brian's personality. I want Brian back to the way he was." With that, he started crying.

"You want me to change your dog's personality back?" the mall Santa requested.

"Yes," Stewie answered, sniffing. "And, uh, I'd like a bike, too."

Upon this, he saw a family with a bike the parents just bought for their son.

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><p>That night, back at the Griffin house, Stewie, still feeling depressed, was watching <em>A Year Without a Santa Claus or Sex<em> when Brian came into the living room, dressed in a red shirt, a darker jacket and wearing glasses.

"Hello, Stewart," Brian greeted.

"What's this?" Stewie said, surprised to see Brian. "What are you doing, Brian?"

"That's my name," Brian said. "Hey, whose leg do you have to hump to get some oil around here?"

"Oil?" Stewie repeated. "That's not your signature line at all."

"I've changed it since I became a robot, okay?" Brian responded. "Look, I went through a lot of trouble trying to act the way I was a few months before I got run over. For example, I'm trying to get into politics again, so I read the newspaper. What's with all these politics, huh? That's all about my level of political awareness."

"Oh, Brian," Stewie sighed. "You're just trying to make me feel better."

"Hey," Brian continued, "you remember my bestselling novel, _Wish It, Want It, Do It_? Well, I happened to write a sequel novel. Something I'd like to call _Wish It, Want It, 2 It_."

"Oh," Stewie said, turning to Brian. "You replace the word 'do' with the number '2', huh?"

"Yeah, let me recite a passage from it," Brian began. "'You wish you could attend the Oscars. You want to win an award. You know what you do? You win for best actor.' And at the end of the book, you see a picture of someone smiling. That's an example of you being a big success."

"Look, Brian," Stewie interrupted. "I appreciate what you're doing to cheer me up, but none of it can get your _real_ body back, especially around Christmas."

This brought something to Brian's mind.

"Christmas," Brian said. "Stewie, that's _it_!"

"_What's_ it?" Stewie asked.

"Several months ago," Brian informed, "you said you time-traveled ahead to buy that new toy a week before you destroyed your time machine."

"Oh, yeah," Stewie realized. "But it could've been _any_ night before Christmas. What made you think about _that,_ Brian?"

"We could go back to the mall to see if I'm right," Brian requested.

"Well," Stewie began, shrugging, "I guess we _could_ go back."

"Great," Brian said. "Let me get out of these professor clothes, first."

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><p>As promised, Brian, who is back to wearing his collar, had taken Stewie to the mall, and the two were at the toy store. But Stewie didn't feel a bit happier.<p>

"Brian, you _know_ how I don't like the toy store this close to Christmas," Stewie said. "The shelves are always getting picked clean. Are you sure it's the right time?"

"You'll see," Brian assured. "In the meantime, want to see what kinds of toys they have?"

As soon as Brian asked the question, a flash of light shone, and Stewie took notice.

"Oh, my God," Stewie said, surprised. "You're right. There I am."

Brian looked at the direction Stewie was pointing to. "Ha, I knew it," he said.

A few seconds later, that Stewie had already picked the toy he wanted, and was taking it up to the cashier, while _our_ Stewie and Brian were watching in secrecy.

"Wow, good timing, little fella," the employee said. "This just came out today."

"Yeah, I kinda knew that already," the past Stewie chuckled.

"The time machine return pad is in the backpack that other Stewie is wearing, Brian," Stewie whispered. "I must get my hands on it."

As soon as Stewie started to run, Brian placed his hand on Stewie's shoulder. "Wait, Stewie," Brian said. "I have a better idea, but it's going to involve the both of us talking to him face to face."

"What do you mean, Brian?" Stewie asked. "Are you wishing to sacrifice your robothood for this?"

"You'll know, Stewie," Brian answered.

As the past Stewie was about to get the return pad out, Brian greeted, "Hello, past Stewie," getting his attention.

"Brian?" the past Stewie began, surprised. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"He's not the only one who's here," Stewie said, coming up.

"Who are _you_?" the past Stewie asked.

"I'm _you_ from this timeline," Stewie answered. "Brian and I had come here to warn you."

"Warn me?" the past Stewie repeated. "About what?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Brian said. "But we need to find a more secretive place to talk in."

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><p>At the "employees only" section, Stewie and Brian had informed the past Stewie about what had happened several months ago, and the past Stewie stood shocked.<p>

"You mean," the past Stewie began, "if I destroy my time machine because of the Jamestown mishap, Brian will get run over and end up a robot? O...M...G."

"I know it's shocking, past Stewie," Brian said, "but that's the story."

"All right," the past Stewie said. "As soon as I get back to my home time, I'm going to put away my time machine."

"Put it away?" Stewie repeated.

"Yeah," the past Stewie answered, shrugging. "I'm getting kinda bored with it anyway."

"You do realize that if you go back and do that," Brian said to the past Stewie, "it means I'll have to go back to being a regular dog and eat normal food again, like kibble."

"Either that," the past Stewie began, "or the timeline in which the event happened would cease to exist. That's a 50/50 chance you two will have to take."

"Hey, it was a good several months being a robot," Brian said, shrugging, "but it's been worth it."

The past Stewie got his return pad out and started to step on to it upon activating it.

"Wait," Stewie said, getting his attention. "One last message from the _both_ of us."

"Good luck," both Brian and Stewie said to him.

With a smile, the past Stewie said, "Thanks, and Merry Christmas." And with that, the past Stewie teleported back to his home time.

A few seconds of silence. Afterwards, Brian asked Stewie, "Do you think it worked?"

"I don't know," Stewie answered. "Can you feel a heartbeat?"

Brian heard a few thumps coming from his chest. "I can," he said. "Wait. Stewie, pinch me."

With that, Stewie did so on Brian's right wrist.

"Ow," Brian said, feeling a little pain. Afterwards, he said, in delight, "It worked, Stewie. I'm a real dog again!"

"Yes!" Stewie said, jumping for joy, then felt something for a second. "And I suddenly remember a few new things, like me putting the time machine away, and attending my dad and Mr. Quagmire's concert with you."

"And _I_ remember," Brian began, "checking the mail when the car came that day."

**Cutaway****:** Brian was going to the mailbox when he heard the screeching of tires. Said car was coming in.

"Huh," Brian said. "It almost looks like my Prius."

The car passed by, and since Brian wasn't on the road, he didn't get hurt.

"Where could the car be going to in such a hurry?" he asked himself.

Stewie had watched this from his bedroom window.

"Good thing I put my time machine away," Stewie said, glad.

Back to the "employees only" section. Brian suddenly felt something.

"Wait a minute," he said. "Stewie, what time is it?"

"It's almost 7:00," Stewie answered.

"Great, there's still time," Brian said, walking out of the section.

"Still time for what?" Stewie asked.

"Follow me and you'll see," Brian called. And with that, Stewie followed.

* * *

><p>Brian's car parked near the pet shop, which made Stewie wonder.<p>

"The pet shop?" Stewie asked. "What are we doing here? Are you going to buy dog food?"

"No, Stewie," Brian answered. "Something better."

The two friends got into the shop, and made their way to the dog cages.

"Wait," Stewie said. "You want to buy a dog? Don't we have you as a dog already?"

"Yes," Brian answered. "But I want to treat the dog I buy like a son or little brother to me. One month after the event, I went out to this shop and met the dog I want to buy, making friends with him. And he's still there," he said, pointing to Vinny's cage, which was right next to the two.

"Brian," Vinny greeted. "Good to see you again."

"Good to see _you_ again, too, Vinny," Brian greeted back.

"Vinny?" Stewie repeated. "That's a nice name."

"So, I hear you want to buy me," Vinny said. "Who's the bambino?"

Brian answered, "Vinny, this is Stewie, my owner Peter's youngest son. He's a baby genius."

"Yes, and we have a lot of stories for you to catch up on when we get home," Stewie said to Vinny as Brian opened the cage.

"I already know what Vinny's breed is, Stewie," Brian said, "and I was pretty surprised."

"Really?" Stewie responded. "What breed _is_ he?"

"Actually," Vinny began, "I'm a pussyhound."

"That just means he's one sixteenth cat," Brian added.

"Whoa, a hybrid," Stewie said, amazed. "That's amazing."

"And," Brian began, "he's my present to you and the rest of the family."

"Really?" Vinny said, wagging his tail. "Your present to _me_ is a family? That's perfect!"

"Why is it perfect?" asked Stewie.

Brian replied, "Vinny's previous owner, Leo, died while doing the first pose in a yoga class."

"Really?" Stewie said, shocked.

"Yeah," Brian answered, paying the shop owner. "_Dateline_ announced it. I comforted Vinny. But being brought here was what he needed to get over Leo. And I thought, 'hey, maybe he needs a family's care'."

"Well, Brian," Stewie began, "I think it's true."

"Hey, Brian?" Vinny said, putting his hand on Brian's shoulder. "Thanks for the present."

"You're welcome, Vinny," Brian replied. "You'll love it at the Griffin house."

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><p>It was Christmas morning at the Griffin house, and everyone, plus their new dog, was opening their presents. Stewie and Brian were sitting near the tree."It's from me, Brian," Stewie said, handing his present to the dog. "Merry Christmas."<p>

Brian opened the gift. It was a crayon drawing Stewie drew of himself, Brian and Vinny, with the words "Friends Forever" written on top.

"Stewie," Brian began. "It's wonderful. Thank you."

"And your gift to us is wonderful, too," Stewie said, referring to Vinny. "He's a great addition to the family."

Vinny came in and gave Brian a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Brian," Vinny whispered.

"You, too, Vinny," Brian replied.

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><p>Wasn't that wonderful? We've saved the best for last, as we conclude this fanfiction anthology, so keep reading...<p> 


	8. Epilogue: A Message from Brian

_What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like..._

Epilogue: A Message from Brian

by LDEJRuff

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><p>We see Brian in front of a black screen.<p>

"Hi," he says. "I hope you have enjoyed this 'what if' anthology of what would have happened to me in the episode _Life of Brian_. I, for one, am glad to be back on the show, and am pleased to inform you all that no talking dogs were harmed during production. Thank you for your time, and good night."

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><p>The End<p> 


End file.
